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Bible of the Zackolites
How Zack Created the World... In the beginning there was Zack whom created god who created adam. Zack said "Dis shit is gay" and created Eve. Soon after he fucked the shit out of Eve. Adam was confused and watched. Zack then beckoned "Eh, What the hell." and then banged Adam just as hard. Thus the first gay sex occured. God feared Zack and cast out Adam and Eve. Zack got pissed and kicked god outta the apartment and Lucifer moved in. This is how the world began and forever will happen. AMEN. ---- Verses of the Old Testaments "And he laid seige on thy face of thy mother with dissings of the up most power." Franky 2:9 We not dare utter a word as he preached the words "For whom have followed me these years shall be saved from the lame and the mundane and will be delivered into the gates of my home.... haha nah you all going to rot in the ground hahaha" and thus he walked off to playeth the games on video. -'Reul 2:7' "Take heed my son, for there shall be many who doubt me, but whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting life." I wept with joy at the gift bestowed, "Yet, my lord, what fate shall be given to the unworthy?" He answered: "Their entrails shall be rent from their stomachs, their limbs ripped from their torso, to feast our hungry bodies, and restore our souls. Whensoever you feast upon the heart of thine enemy, think of me." For that is the beauty of Zack. - Reul 3:4 And then thy lord toldeth Zdyne, "Bring me some goldfish snacks". - Zydne 1:1 "For whom giveth the lord monies shall be given a special place in my heart. For money is the root of all love and the reason for living." - Zack on Donations "Fuck da police" - NWA 4:02 "And Zack spoke forthwise, "you know what would be really funny? if I made a reference to the Prince of Bel-air theme song" and there was much rejoicing." - Snucks 6:9 And we asked the lord on video games and he replied "RIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RAAAAAAAACERRRRRRRRRRRR" and snapped Joseph's neck. We learned to not speak of video games again. - Tony 1:3 "I was there when christ died on the cross. Jesus owed me 200 rupees and I guess being impaled on a piece of wood gets you out of repaying for shit nowadays. What a fucking rip-off." - Zack on Lending money "And thy see this with your eyes? This is Porn from the internetz, filled with naked and women. Curiousity in your penis aroused? This is normal for you are man and man is weak. For you see these images of unclothed females do not intice me for i am god, your ruler." - Zack on Porn. Zack stopped us and stared into the blankness. We asked our mighty god why he had stopped and he quizzed. "Reul, do not allowth ye eyes to be decieved by thy lies of lips. For if not on Youtube it never happend." then he walked onward as we took his words to heart. - Reul 2:8 We came to a long river and asked our lord how we will cross. He smiled and answered "We will ford the river" and with that we ignored the tollboat and forded the river. Yustest died and our lord lifted our spirits and said, "For Yustest gave his life so we could save some money. He shall not be forgotten." Here Lies Yustest. - Reul 1:8 ---- The 10 Commandments *1 - Thou Shall Not Have Any Gods Other Then Me. *2 - Thou Shall Love Thy Loli *3 - Thou Shall Not Block a Pedobear *4 - Thou Shall Not Eat the Cursed Gum Gum Fruit. *5 - Thou Shall Not dislike Big O *6 - Thou Shall Hate Inuyasha *7 - No weeaboo fags *8 - Thou shall not touch my stereo *9 - A Cat is Fine too *10 - NO U ----